


Secluded Sentiment

by Terminallygenius



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alternate Universe - Teen Wolf (TV) Fusion, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek and Stiles, Hurt Stiles, Jealous Derek, Longing, M/M, Oblivious Derek, Pining Derek, Pining Stiles, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Slow Burn, Stiles, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf AU, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, Why did he leave, derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski - Freeform, sterek, these two are so precious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-12 06:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terminallygenius/pseuds/Terminallygenius
Summary: Issac comes home to a very distressed Stiles packing up Derek’s loft. What happened while he was gone?This story will be told mostly from Stiles’ POV.





	1. Stiles Stilinski

It’s all gone to hell, it feels like one thing after another at this point. Here I am, cleaning up Derek’s apartment with everyone else gone. I can’t honestly blame old sour wolf. If I didn’t have ties here I would run too. This town, it’s going to be the death of anyone who stays. 

After everything the pack has been through, it seems the smartest ones leave. Though they’re also the luckiest ones, having no ties here. One after another the strong and loyal people are dying though. Erica, Boyd, Allison, Aiden. Why have I stayed again? 

Ah that’s right, Scott, dad, Lydia. All those people I’d gladly put my life on the line for, even though they never listen to me. It’s not like I know what I’m talking about right? No, why listen to Stiles when we can just go charge in head first. No one wants to listen to the human. 

“Stiles? What are you doing here?” I hear Isaac prod from the front door. When did he even get here? I have to admit though, staying away from Beacon did him some good. He’s gotten more muscle, he looks at ease. 

I let out a scoff “what do you mean what am I doing here Isaac?” I hiss in response. He’s the one who left. Why is he questioning me? 

He tilts his head at me before walking into the room fully. His eyes take in the packed boxes and empty walls. “Where’s Derek?” He prods, sounding genuinely worried. 

My eyes shoot to the floor as my throat catches a bit. “He-he, um, Derek left Isaac. He’s not coming back.” I choke out. He’s getting out of this forsaken town before it kills him. 

Isaac’s face turns to complete shock. “Is this some kind of sick joke? What do you mean he’s leaving? What about the pack?” He growls at me with fury coating his tone. 

My tongue shoots across my teeth before a dark chuckle comes from my throat. This boy has the audacity to come in here and question Derek when he left us first. “Why does it matter to you? You left. You’ve been gone for who knows how long. You don’t know the shit we’ve had to deal with without you during that time. It’s been hell!” I shout at him before tossing a nearby table to the floor. I guess some of that pent up aggression is ready to play. Then again not all of void has left. 

His eyes cast to the floor with a glimmer of shame. He crosses his arms over his chest and brings his gaze back to me. “I needed time stiles. My heart couldn’t take much more of this town. I’d lost too much here.” He all but chokes out to me. 

I laugh fully now. My hand toss up in the air, “Yeah? Guess what Issac we needed you! Derek needed you, Scott, Lydia, the pack. We need you and you left. Why? Oh what shit got tough? We were all attached to Allison. We were all attached to Erica and Boyd. Granted the last two were more with you and Derek than the rest of us. Even then Derek had to carry that on his chest by himself. Don’t come at me with pure bullshit. You promised you’d come back Isaac.” I retort with my heart on my shoulders. At this point I honestly couldn't care less about who sees my heart, my emotions. 

He looks taken aback by my outburst, finally letting it settle in. I clear my throat and attempt to bring my emotions in. I finally recognize a few tears ran down my face, causing my hands to clear up the evidence. Isaac truly looks like a lost puppy at the moment. 

I walked over to him and pull him into a hug. As much as he use to get on my nerves, I truly did miss him. “Look, shit happened and it’s in the past. We need you now more than ever. So if you’re here to stay, you’ll be welcomed with open arms. If you’re just gonna tuck tail and run when shit gets rough again though, it’s best you go back to wherever you were. It’ll stay between us that I saw you. Scott needs a pack that’ll back him up fully.” I smile to him with my hand on his shoulder. 

His look turns to one in deep thought for a second. His mouth turns to a small smile, “I’m here to stay Sherlock. For good this time.” He lowly states to me before pulling me in for another hug. “Stiles, I’m sorry I left. I just, I was weak.” He continues before looking around the building. “I’m not weak anymore.” He finishes in an almost whisper. 

I have no idea what he went through while he was gone, but it seems to have truly made him stronger. I smile at him before hold my hand out for him to shake. He grips it looking slightly confused at my antics. I chuckle “welcome back good pup, always nice to have a wolf in a scarf around.” I say with mischief lacing my tone before ducking a hand coming to slap my head. 

He playfully growls at me before shaking his head “it’s good to be back Robin.” He states with a look of happiness in his eyes. 

My hand flies to my heart at the nickname before I hold my other one out. “I am not Robin! Scott is so far from Batman what is wrong with you people! I think the werewolf thing is boggling your minds!” I scoff at him with a stern look in my features. My hands are planted on my hips and my head is drawn back. 

Isaac absolutely busts into laughter. It’s the kind that has him on his butt on the floor while he attempts to choke out words. “You know what, you’re absolutely right. Less Robin and more like pack mom!” He barely gets out before he’s in tears laughing at me. 

I fully take in my stance before shaking my head with a smile on my face. “Alright alright, I’ll take that. As your pack mother I demand you help me pack this stuff up. It’s getting a bit depressing honestly.” I half joke to him before helping him back to his feet. 

His mood immediately sobers at the thought before he somberly nodded his head. “Yeah, I’ll help you. It sucks he’s gone man. I was really hoping to see him again.” He mumbled into the room. 

We take in the room one more time. Boxes are packed everywhere, the furniture is covered with sheets, and it’s quiet. I don’t know what we’re going to do without Derek. The old sourwolf has truly grown on me. Half of me hopes he changes his mind, comes back home. I hope something,  _ anything _ , brings him back. I have so many unsaid things that feel like weights on my heart. It hurts, but it wasn’t our time. 

It’s probably stupid to even think that way. There’s no way Derek would go for me. Right? The cracks in his heart, they remind me of my own. I get it, he’s not looking for a connection with just anyone. What’s the point of the one if you find them at the wrong time, in the wrong life? 

A hand gently grabs my shoulder “Hey man, you good?” Isaac breaks my train of thought. 

I clear my throat and rub my face. “Yeah I’m good. Let’s get this over with.” I mumble in response to his worry. Who am I to ruin the happiness Der could find away from here. At my statement both Isaac and I get busy packing up Derek’s house. Things are about to get bad, I can feel it. Hopefully with Isaac here we can have someone with as much experience as Scott to back us up. 

  
  


** _“We are all wondering the earth, alone, longing to be longed for.” - William C. Hannan_ **


	2. What If’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Stiles to say goodbye.

After we finish getting everything packed we both let out deep breaths. I can feel the tension in the room. While it’s not between Isaac and I, it’s still there. I cast a glance at Isaac, “hey man, I need a second. I’ll meet you by the Jeep in a few minutes.” I carefully mumble. 

His eyebrows come together and he licks his lips before nodding his head. He throws a hand to my shoulder where he grips it, “take your time, I’ll wait outside.” He responds. He takes one last look before heading out the front door. 

As I make my way to his bedroom I run my hands over the walls. Throughout these years this loft has become a second home to me. It has been my hard rock when my footing gets unsteady. Through the parties, pack meetings, and late nights it’s honestly a sight for sore eyes no matter what kind of day I’ve had. Now, granted I know I have a key. I know I’m welcome here anytime, but it won’t be the same. There won’t be a grumpy sour wolf here to make me feel safe, to judge my actions, or to listen to my rants. No matter what’s come up, Derek always listened to me. 

Rather it was about a new creature, a pretty girl that ignored me, or a vent from my mind winning a war with my heart. Oh all the times I ranted to him about Lydia. I was too oblivious to see what was right in front of me. As I look around I see what looks like a picture under his dresser. “What the fuck?” I mumble to myself. I reach under to grab it and pull it out. When I flip it over I see a picture of Derek and I. It’s a selfie I had taken a while back. 

  
  


_ I let out a laugh while holding my phone out in front of us “awww, come on sourwolf. One smile, that’s all I’m asking.” I jest at him.  _

_ He gives me a solid frown before straightening himself and scooting closer to me. “One picture stiles then we eat our food.” He grumps back to me. We were currently sitting at a diner with the rest of the pack, celebrating another win against a creature threatening beacon.  _

_ I beam in response before looking back to my phone. Once my attention is back on the screen, I find Derek smiling brighter than I had ever seen before. It brings a cheek splitting grin to my own face. “Hey there you go!” I gasp out before snapping the picture. As I move the phone closer to my face to see the picture I feel Derek move to look over my shoulder.  _

_ I tilt my face to watch him from the corner of my eye. I find a content smile gracing his face before he turns the grin to me. He chuckles before firmly grabbing my shoulder and turning his attention back to the pack. I give a puzzled look before deciding to send the picture to him with a text saying “A salute to good times and amazing Alphas” before locking my phone.  _

_ Throughout the dinner he wears this look of happiness. A small smile gracing his face as he interacts with the friends around the table, a playful mood I had never seen on the normally grumpy man. He discreetly, at least he thinks, casts grins and barely there touches as everyone eats.  _

_ Once everyone stands to head to their cars I feel Derek staying close behind me, almost as if he’s protecting me from some creature I can’t sense. As I get to my Jeep I turn to look at him, finding that content smile highlighting his face. “Stiles, I um, I had a good time tonight. Not quite sure why I felt the need to tell you that, but thank you for the picture. Have a good night, yeah?” He quietly states while rubbing the back of his neck.  _

_ I take in his flustered stance with a hint of confusion, why is he so nervous right now? “Yeah man, I had a good time too. Anytime you wanna have a photo shoot I’m totally up for it! I may or may not have a photo album for the entire pack. You should come see it some time.” I rush out in response.  _

_ He lowly chuckles as his smile gets a bit larger, “I’d honestly love that.” He responded before opening and closing his mouth again. It’s almost as if he has something else to say, but thinks better of it. I hope everything is okay with him, he normally isn’t this nervous around me. “I’ll see you around, good night Stiles” he finishes before turning to walk to his own car.  _

_ I tilt my head in confusion while smiling at his back. “Good night Derek” I mumble lowly before shaking my dazed state. _

I let a content sigh escape me as I shake the distant memory. I wish I could just go back in time, and slap myself into recognizing what I had back then. Everyone was still breathing back then. I place the picture against my chest, willing to wake up from what has to be a nightmare. It feels like someone has carved a hole into my heart, like I’m incomplete. Which has to be a stupid thought right? If there’s one thing he deserves, it’s freedom. His entire life he’s been hurt, hunted, and stressed. 

Then there’s this recurring thought, he would never go for someone like me anyways. He’s Derek Hale; he’s strong, brilliant, and most importantly straight. Even if he hadn’t left, these feelings could never be reciprocated. If all of this is true though, why would he have this picture? Why would he keep it locked away for only him to see? Most importantly, why can’t I get him out of my head?

It’s almost as if there’s this pull to be near him, with him, or at least know where he’s at. I have this overwhelming feeling to protect him. I mean he’s a werewolf for god's sake, what could I possibly do that he can’t? I shake my head vigorously and massage my temples. I have to let him go, there’s nothing there for me. That thought caused me to push myself back into the standing position. I retrieve my wallet and place the picture there for safe keeping. I’m telling myself not to worry about it, knowing it’ll just throw me back into more memories that will push the guilt further in my heart. The logical part of me knows I will never find peace without knowing, but then I scold myself, it’s not about me. I can’t be selfish, Derek deserves happiness away from this god forsaken town. 

Patting the bed as a goodbye I stand and turn to look around the room. Of course in classic Derek fashion the room is mostly black. He has silk sheets with a black comforter adorning his bed along with his walls being a dark mahogany. The room even smells like Derek, and that's saying a lot with no wolf powers. Sandalwood and the sharpness of peppermint clings to everything in the loft. The smell of a rainstorm easily drifting through the air causing me to sigh. It smells like home. 

A tear betrays me as it falls from my eye, showing just a tiny part of the pain held within me at this moment. I place my hand over my heart “Goodbye Derek, I wish you were here. I wish I had grown the balls to tell you, hell, even show you just a glimpse of how I feel. I’m no good at goodbyes, they always cause so much pain.” I pause to take in a deep breath. It honestly feels as if my heart is cracking a bit more. “I just, fuck the what if’s. I-I think I love you Derek. Fuck!” I growl out before tugging at my hair. “Goodbye Der, you deserve the world.” I end before cleaning my face with my jacket sleeves. With a clear of my throat I leave the bedroom and head out to the Jeep. 

Isaac is stood outside the Jeep, watching me with a tilt of his head. I nod at him before walking around and hopping in with a slam of the door. As I start the engine I can feel him staring holes into the side of my head. “What is it man?” I grouch out to him, placing my face in the palms of my hands. 

He snaps his eyes to the house before clearing his throat, “Stiles, I, I just don’t understand. Derek wouldn’t just leave like this. What happened?” He asks with desperation coating his tone. 

I chuckle darkly while shaking my head. I throw the vehicle into drive before responding, “You wanna know what happened? Kate Fucking Argent.” I scream before slamming my fist on my steering wheel. I turn out of the driveway and allow the tears to fall freely this time. “She turned Scott into a berserker and held him and his girlfriend captive. When we went to save them Derek jumped out first. There was another berserker there. He beat Derek to a fucking pulp and then stabbed him.” The memory causes my face to cringe and my heart to tighten. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could’ve defended him in anyway, but I’m weak. “Derek, he-he survived. He evolved actually. He turned into this magnificent black wolf. We haven’t seen him since. He left, for his own good. This town was going to kill him.” By the end of my rant my voice is a low whisper. The memory is still so vivid and heart wrenching. 

Isaac is silent for a minute or two, taking everything in I suppose. I breathe in the road, that smell of rain still fresh in the air. It’s almost as if anything and everything triggers memories of Derek. “I should have never left.” Isaac mumbled in return, mostly to himself, I assume. 

My only response is silence this time. There’s no sarcastic or witty response quick off my tongue. Sometimes, the best answer is silence. I’m not better at reunions than I am at goodbyes I guess. I’m just tired and angry at this point. I want everything back to how it was, but I also don’t want to feel weak any longer. Most importantly, I want Derek back. 

** _“Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.” -Unknown_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my loves. I hope you enjoyed! Poor Stiles, hopefully someone is there to stop him from falling apart. Who would you like it to be?

**Author's Note:**

> The chapters to come will be longer. This will be more of a slow burn. Will Derek come back or will Stiles be left wondering what ifs? I’ll always take suggestions on things y’all want to happen.


End file.
